Fast turn over, huh?
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Chapter 17: Intervention
Is numb a feeling? I guess its rather a lack thereof. Either way its how I feel. Numb. I can’t take the pain of thinking about Spencer or what’s that other girls name…? Well whoever she was, she sucks too. Spencer’s has totally eclipsed every single woman in my life.
So over this.
As soon as Madison began preparations for the post show meet & greet Spencer high tailed it straight to the bar that Aiden found near their hotel. It was a small dingy little place, but so were all bars located around arenas and air ports.
She rushed inside afraid she may have missed Aiden. She was thirty minutes later than she intended on being, but she got roped into helping Madison.
Spencer found Aiden sitting at a crescent moon shaped booth toward the back already nursing a drink. She breathed a sigh of relief, sitting down in a huff.
“Rough night?” He smiled over the rim of his class.
“Madison needed to make press packets at the last minute for the second leg of the tour now that we’re announcing added dates because it sold out so fast. Not to mention the melee at every exit of the hotel. Long story short, I’m sorry I’m late.”
Aiden laughed, he could see why Ashley was falling so hard for her. “Spencer, take a breath. It’s cool. I have time.”
She smiled warmly. “Thank you. So what are you drinking?”
Spencer made a funny face.
“That’s a girl drink,” she said with a smile.
“Is it? So should I pass on the apple martini I was going to get next?”
Spencer indulged in some much needed laughter.
Aiden joined her saying, “You’re challenging my manhood now I have to get like Jagermeister or something and that stuffs gross.”
“No, get your martini. But let me just note that appletinis are Simon’s favorite drink.”
“Waitress!” Aiden shouted sending Spencer into another fit of laughter.
To her surprise one came over seconds later. The place was practically empty, the waitress had to get tips somehow.
“Beer and a whiskey please,” he ordered as Spencer continued to laugh.
“And for you?”
“Um, I think I’ll have a rum and coke. I’m not as manly as he is.”
Finally silence fell between them. After their drinks arrived they were left to take in the horrid red carpet, cracked black vinyl chairs and tables and the crappy music that played. Theirs eyes met and they shared a laugh.
“Well this is awkward,” Aiden managed.
Spencer smiled. “Yeah, a little. What should we talk about?” She knew full well what she wanted to talk about, but she also knew she had to ease into it. If decorum allowed she would have asked just how intimate Aiden’s relationship with Ashley was the moment she sat down.
What made their predicament so ironic was Aiden too had questions he needed answered. They were both being so tactful that neither knew where to start.
“Well, how long have you and Ashley been friends?” Spencer reasoned that was a safe place to start.
“Since high school so about seven or eight years.”
“Wow, long time. So you knew her before her rock star days.”
He laughed. “No, Ash, has always been a rock star, it just took the world a while to figure it out.”
Spencer reasoned he was right. She took a deep breath and ventured on toward what she was really curious about.
“Did you guys like date or did you go straight to being good friends?” She sipped her drink in search of a nonchalant air.
Aiden knew she was fishing, but so was he so he didn’t mind taking the bait.
“Yeah, we dated junior and half of senior year until she realized she liked boobs just as much as I did.”
Spencer smiled even as the revelation stung for no rational reason she could ever offer.
“Yeah, it sucked at first, but we eventually got passed it. We became best friends and have been ever since.”
“That’s really big of you.”
“Well Ashley is easy to love.” He paused. “Once you get to know her, of course. I think I’m the longest relationship she’s ever had.”
“Yeah. I was her first in high school. Then she dated a few girls briefly after me, but nothing stuck. Next thing we knew she was becoming a rock star and touring so she was in groupie heaven.”
“And what about Angel?” She tried to keep the disdain from her voice at the mention of that name. Epic fail.
“I really wouldn’t count that as a relationship. Don’t get me wrong, Ashley loved Angel, or at least she thought she did.”
“You don’t believe she did?”
“No. I know what love looks like in Ashley’s eyes and it just wasn’t there with Angel. She cared for her very deeply, but Angel just filled a need for affection Ashley had at the time, I think. Angel saw that and took advantage of it. Hence she took off as soon as she felt she had something better.”
“Damn,” was all Spencer could manage to say. This was a lot for her to think about. She didn’t doubt Ashley’s capacity to love, but now she was doubting her luck in finding someone to love. It baffled her that anyone could hurt Ashley, not love her, or deny her the ability to love them. Then it struck her, that’s precisely what she was doing. But Spencer was different. She was with someone. She couldn’t allow herself to fall for Ashley even if she wanted to. Or at least that was what she was trying to tell herself.
“I know, it sucks, but our girl is a trooper. She guards her heart to prevent herself from being hurt again. I really can’t blame her. Between her shitty parents, being constantly surrounded by people she’s not really sure she can trust and Angel, she’s been through a lot. That’s why she spoils me, her sister and the squad so much. Its really all she has.”
Spencer sat in silence for a while. She didn’t want to be like everyone else in Ashley’s life. She never intended for that to happen but circumstances were certainly making it appear that way. She hated that she couldn’t be everything for Ashley, but she had obligations that she just couldn’t ignore. Spencer’s biggest fear was actually trying to be the one for Ashley and failing miserably. Wasn’t that what happened with Madison?
“Aiden, can I ask you something?”
“What did Ashley tell you?”
He almost choked on his beer. “Huh?”
“Look, I know she must have told you something about us. You’re her best friend and you were totally fishing back at the hotel.”
He smiled bashfully. “You knew?”
She placated him by offering, “I’m only now putting together the pieces.”
“Just like you were fishing when you first got here?”
It was her turn to blush. They both seemed to be on to each other.
“She just told me that things happened between you two, but for reasons beyond her control, you two couldn’t pursue anything further.”
“Beyond her control?”
“She didn’t want to tell me anything personal. She just said that you had a very valid reason for staying with Madison and she didn’t want to interfere with that. It wasn’t her place.”
Spencer looked somber. Leave it to Ashley to be so damn considerate, even now. Although on some level she wanted Ashley to fight for her, to tell her how she feels. But Ashley was too kind-hearted for that.
“Yeah, I guess its not. I just…” Spencer hedged.
“You can tell me.”
“I care for Ashley, a lot. Maybe even too much. But I can’t leave Maddy, or I don’t think I can.”
“You don’t think you can?”
“I don’t know! I just can’t. It’s too much.”
“I know you’ve been with Madison for a while and I’ll admit I don’t know the extent of your relationship, but if you care about Ashley so much then maybe what you have with Madison isn’t as strong anymore. Maybe you need to reassess what’s important to you and take your own happiness into consideration. I don’t mean to pry, but Ash means the world to me and you’re starting to mean the world to her. Judging off the two encounters I’ve had with you, you’ve gone from intrigued to completely head over heels. Don’t you think that’s worth exploring?”
“Exploring? What do you want me to do, date her? I have a girlfriend. I’m in a committed relationship.”
“Who you trying to convince me or yourself?”
Spencer fell silent.
“You don’t have to date her,” Aiden softened. “Just at least be her friend. Talk to her. Let your heart make the decision because the one your head is making it leaving you both very unhappy.”
“She’s not talking to me and for good reason. We can’t talk, Aiden, we can’t touch each other, we can’t even be alone. We’ve almost had sex on two occasions. It’s just going to get worse. She felt it was better for us not be friends because neither of us know how to be friendly with one another.”
“Well…figure something out! Only hang out in public places. Something. Just be fair to her and to yourself.”
Aiden was right. She owed it to herself and Ashley to at least pursue their friendship, see where it took them. Maybe when she knew the full extent of their friendship then she could make a decision about whether or not she could consider taking it further. That was if Spencer didn’t jump her bones first.
“You’re right Aiden. There’s no reason why we can’t at least be friends. I’ll talk to her soon. Maybe she’ll considering giving our friendship another try.”
“Good. I’m so happy for you two,” he beamed. “You know, your friendship I mean.”
“Well now that that’s out the way, what do you say we knock a couple back before we head to the arena?”
“Let’s. Waitress!” Spencer called ready to get the night started with her new friend.