Finally the end! Thank you to everyone who stuck around to the end. This one really slipped through the cracks. 

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Rating: R

Chapter 12

For all I know, I have no clue what my life has become.

Reggie comes staggering into my apartment like she owns the place, taking the beer from my hand and leaving the door wide open.

Once, that’s how many time she’s been to my apartment. That happened only because I had just gotten in from work and was too lazy to meet her out. She needed to discuss Maura’s birthday and, unfortunately, I caved.

“You know for such a big hero this place is a real shit hole, Rizzoli.”

Taking abuse from Maura’s drunken ex-girlfriend is my penance I suppose, punishment for a mismanaged situation.

“Well this is just my winter shit hole. You should see my summer shanty; one room and a pot to piss in.”

She staggers from one corner to the next and I too bounce back and forth between helping her sit down and knocking her to the floor.

“I knew about you,” she spits after a few awkward moments of silence. “How she felt about you.” Reggie struggles to point an accusatory finger saying, “But I didn’t worry because you were straight. Had to be to not be with a woman like Maura. I’m better looking too.”

To get into a pissing contest with a drunk person would be madness, but biting my tongue has never been harder. Even though we’re similar heights, I have a few inches on Reggie. She is, however, fuller in places I wouldn’t mind being fuller. Better looking though, she is not!

“How ‘bout I get you some water?”

“Hey! Did you hear me?”

“You’re shouting so…yeah.”

She staggers toward me, a finger pointed at my chest. “You took her from me. The big hero cop, nothing but a snake in the grass.”

“I’m sorry about what happened, Reggie, really I am. But if you poke me one more time you’ll learn first hand what makes me such a good cop.”

My tone and the look in my eye is enough to get through her alcohol-addled brain. She takes a step back almost tumbling to the floor. I’m able to grab her at the last moment.

“Okay, champ, how about we take a seat?”

“I can do it myself,” she slurs even as she allows me to help her to the couch.

“Stay put,” I warn. “I’ll get you some water.”

“Don’t you mean coffee?”

“No, actually coffee doesn’t help you get sober. The only thing that helps is regulating your blood sugar level, water is the best remedy.”

“Where’d you learn that, professor?” She turns as best as she can to look at me. We lock eyes and just where I learned that fun fact becomes painfully obvious. “Of course.”

I didn’t get to know Reggie very well, but this certainly isn’t the woman I had the displeasure of getting to meet. One thing I can say is that she and Maura did look good together. Reggie was always fresh, pressed, and well dressed. She has an androgynous style that I’m sure turns the heads of both men and women. I hate that I had a hand in reducing her to what I see now, oversized sweats, a stained t-shirt, and frizzy hair.

As guilty as I feel about what’s happened, I don’t feel any remorse for finally reaching this plateau with Maura. It’s taken years for us to build what we have juxtaposed the few months she and Reggie were together. I have, and would, take a bullet for Maura; I refuse to let anyone else come between us.


She takes a few sips of water and thankfully stops talking. I only have a moment to enjoy the silence before the weeping starts. At least the belligerent phase is over.

“How could you do this to me? I thought we were friends.”

Friends? I can count on one hand all the conversations we’ve had, and let’s not forget that, “Reggie, I don’t even like you.”

She looks at me with wet eyes asking, “What?”

“That came out wrong,” I hedge. “Look, from the moment I met you, you’ve been nothing but bad news—for me, bad news for me. You came out of left field. Not only that, but you were dating the woman I love. Add our freakish resemblance and you never stood a chance.”

“We could have been friends.”



“This is all Maura’s fault.”


She takes a few fortifying sniffs before continuing. “Yeah, she knew how she felt about you, and on some level she had to know how you felt too. She led me on. She strung you along! Aren’t you the least bit angry?”

Just how much do I want to reveal to the competition? As Reggie struggles with the bottle cap of the water, I realize I could probably tell her anything and it would be like I’d never said a word.

“I was…at first. I think we were both in denial, too afraid of ‘what if,’ to even try. But we worked it out. We yelled and we cried and we talked and just—“

Reggie’s drunken snores cut through the remainder of my diatribe.

“Reggie?” I give her arm a shake.


With a sigh, I pull her legs up onto the sofa and find a blanket. No sooner than I lay it across her prone form does she turn over and vomit all over my feet. Of course it would also be at this moment that Maura calls. My phone buzzes across the kitchen counter top and for all I know, I have no fucking clue where to even start.

I’m going to have to go to the kitchen to get a bucket and some cleanser anyway, I might as well not miss Maura’s call.

“Free at last?”

She sounds so tired when she says, “Finally. I hope you don’t mind, but I went straight home.”

“No, no,” I glance down at my feet. “It’s good you didn’t come. You need the rest.”

“Good news, however, is I’m off tomorrow. You are too, aren’t you?”


Maura and I have enjoyed the typical conversations new lovers frequently share. Long, meandering talks where one of us either reluctantly hangs up or succumbs to sleep before that can even happen. I don’t have that luxury tonight. The smell of Reggie’s scotch laced vomit is starting to sting my eyes. The only silver lining is that as a detective I experience much worse on a weekly basis. Anyone else would be adding to the mess by now.

“Are you alright?”

“Fine. Just…tired.”

That’s certainly not a lie. Thirty minutes of Reggie’s presence has totally depleted my energy reserves.

“That makes two of us. Let’s both get some sleep. See you tomorrow?”

“You better.”

Maura laughs as she signs off. I miss her voice already. Reggie mumbling incoherently in sleep breaks me out of my romantic trance.


I better start cleaning up this mess.

My phone buzzes far too early in the morning alerting me to the fact that Maura is bringing over breakfast and a surprise.

I rush to the living room to find Reggie still passed out on my sofa. She needs to get out of here before Maura arrives. Explaining why Reggie is here is a headache I’d rather avoid.

“Reg, hey, Reg.” I give her shoulder a healthy shake. I don’t want to startle her, but I’d rather not look at her for another second either. “You have to go.”

“Leave me alone,” she growls before rolling away from me.

This has to be some kind of cosmic joke. I know I’ve wronged her, but I think the vomit should have squared us.

“Reggie, come on!”

I’m whining, but my patience is shot. Giving her one last shove she finally opens her eyes before shutting them again.

“The light!”

“That’s sunlight, as in a new day, as in you need to go.”

“Alright, alright. Just give me a minute.”

I hear the keys before they even enter the lock. Rushing to the door I almost slip trying to get there before it opens. I’m in just enough time to stop Maura from making it all the way inside.

“Hey, babe,” I smile too brightly.

“Oh, hello, Jane.” Maura looks surprised as she says, “I didn’t expect you to be up this early.”

“Well I got your text so….”

Maura looks at me like I’m insane. “May I come in?”

I’m still blocking her entrance as I say, “Come in? Of course you can come in.”

“It’s hard to do so with you blocking the doorway.”

“Duh, right? You’re so smart.”

“Where’s the bathroom in this shit hole?”

Again with the shit hole?

With a resigned sigh I open the door all the way.

Maura’s eyes go from Reggie, shirtless and disheveled, to me, pant-less and disheveled. “I’m having a hard time deciphering if I’m in a dream or nightmare state.”

“It’s not what it looks like.” A cliché if I ever did hear one, but totally the truth.

“Not a good start,” Maura frowns.

Reggie puts an arm around my shoulders saying, “You sure about that, Riz?”

Maura’s eye fill with hurt and I snap. My elbow connects solidly with her stomach sending her to the floor.


I block out Maura’s protests and stick a finger right in Reggie’s face. “Don’t fuck with me, Regina.”

Her eyes widen in shock. As if I’d let Maura date anyone without me running a thorough background check.

“Alright, calm down.” Reggie turns to Maura. “It really isn’t what it looks like. Though I have to admit, I have no clue where my shirt went.”

It takes a moment to explain that Reggie threw up all over her shirt and my pant legs. That’s how we both ended up half naked. The bucket and 409 still sitting on the counter attest to that fact.

Maura turns up her nose, the smell of residual vomit and cleaning products still lingering in the air, “Is that what I smell?”

After cleaning up and washing my feet I only had enough energy to pour myself into bed as is. I even tried to put Reggie into another shirt, which lies in a crumpled ball on the floor. On my third attempt to get her to sit up long enough to dress her, thoughts of where I’d put her body if I suffocated her with said shirt started filling my head. It was best to just give up.

Reggie laughs saying, “You’re a crazy woman, Rizzoli.”

Maura and I look at her like she’s the crazy one.

“If you ever darkened my doorstep, drunk or not, you’d be nursing a shiner… outside,” she clarifies. “You’re a better woman than I am.”

Reggie manages to get to her feet with a moan. Between the hang over and the gut punch she has to be feeling like crap.

“My shirt?”


She looks around and spots the shirt I tried to put on her last night. “Mind if I…”

“Take it.”

Once she’s gathered her things, Reggie wordlessly heads for the door. Before leaving she stops to say, “Maura, I suppose if you had to leave me for someone…Rizzoli isn’t so bad.” She doesn’t wait for a reply before the door closes with a quite snick. “This place is still a shit hole!” she shouts on her way down the stairs.

“That was…bazaar,” Maura says after long moments of silence.

“You have no idea.”

Maura pulls me into a warm hug. “It’s all over now.”

After a few moments Maura breaks the silence asking, “Jane?”


“Can we eat in the bedroom? It smells out here.”

Laughing, I pull her to her feet. “Absolutely.”

After a quick shower, and a healthy breakfast—that I pretend to hate, but secretly enjoy—Maura and I laze around in my bed. We’re so in sync that it doesn’t even need to be discussed.

“Did you really think I’d cheat on you with Reggie?”

Maura sighs before saying, “It would be hard for me to imagine you cheating on me with anyone, much less Reggie. I will say, seeing you both half dressed was…something.”


“Okay, don’t get mad.”

I brace myself for what Maura is about to say.

“It’s just…I dated Reggie because she was so similar to you, in looks. She was nothing like you in intelligence and she didn’t challenge me like you do. I have to admit, though, for the briefest moment the thought of you two together struck a strange and unfamiliar cord.”

“A sexy cord?” I tease.


“I’m just asking, no big deal.”

A few seconds tick by before Maura admits, “An acutely sexy cord.”

“Maura Dorthea Isles,” I gasp. “You have a twin fetish?”

Her eyes go wider than I’ve ever seen. “Is that even a thing?”

“Everything is a thing.”

“Oh my God!” She thinks a moment before asking, “How do you know that?”

“I have two brothers.” Thankfully, that’s enough of an explanation.

“I find that unquestionably disturbing. You and Reggie are not related. It’s just you’re so tall, and toned, and…sexy. You to the second power is doubly so.”

The gentle teasing we’ve been sharing is slowly turning into more. Much more. The companionable silence we shared moments before is now rife with sexual tension. It’s a tension that seems to hover whenever we’re alone together, which is not a complaint. As a matter of fact, I’ve come to expect it and I hope it’s around for the duration of our relationship.

Wanting to relieve some of the tension I attempt a subject change. “What was the surprise you mentioned earlier?”

“Oh.” Maura looks sheepish.



Maura stands to her feet toying with the sash of her trench coat. I didn’t even notice she was still wearing it until this very moment.

“I know we agreed to take things slowly, but after the incident in the morgue and all the time we’ve spent together, the things we’ve been through…crap.”

I have to suppress a bark of laughter. She looks so adorably befuddled that no matter what she says I’ll accept.

“Maybe I should just stop talking.”

Maura pulls apart the lapels of the short trench she’s wearing revealing a lacy black negligée.

“You seemed to respond to the thong so I thought perhaps I should stay on theme.”

Words fail me for long moments. So long that I see tendrils of doubt begin to creep across Maura’s face. Never have I seen a more beautiful woman.

I rush to reassure her saying, “You’re breathtaking.” Coming more fully into my senses I continue, “Maura, I don’t want to do anything you may not be ready for.”

“Oh, I’m ready…if you are, I mean.”

“Yes,” I say way too eagerly.

We’ve been tiptoeing around each other for weeks. So conscious of breaking our cherished bond, neither one of us has been truly honest about our physical feelings.

Even though the air is charged with sexual tension, an awkward silence falls between us. Suddenly I’ve been plunged back into adolescence. I’m terrified of doing the wrong thing. Couple that with my inexperience, and childish fumbling seems to be in my future. Despite my apprehension, I don’t want Maura to question my desire for her.

Tapping into my training, I step up to the plate. I scoot to the edge of the bed, placing my hands on her hips and pulling her between my legs.

“I’ve thought about this for a long time.” Pushing the coat from her shoulders I let it haphazardly fall to the floor.

For all I know, I’ll never know how I got so lucky.

Maura’s eyes slip shut as my hands skim up the sides of thighs. Her skin is impossibly soft.

“I would always feel so guilty, when I thought about you like this. I’d try to push the feelings away, but they would just build and build.” Her legs open a fraction as my fingertips traverse the skin her inner thighs. “When I couldn’t take it anymore I’d finally give in and touch myself.”

The revelation seems to snap Maura out of her reverie. Her hands run through my hair, massaging my scalp. “What did you think about?”

“You in an outfit like this.” I finger the edge of the negligée pushing it up with each stroke of my hand. “I’d imagine you beneath me…the sounds you make.” Maura whimpers at my touch and its now that I realize that anything that happens from this moment on will supersede anything I could have ever imagined.

Seeming to have overcome her reticence, Maura takes the initiative and pushes me back on the bed. I have only a moment to slide to the center before she’s slinking toward me like some wild and sensuous jungle cat. I’m rapt as I watch the play of her muscles across her shoulders, the way her hips spread across my own.

“What else?” she breathes.

Feeling emboldened by progress, I continue saying, “I imagined what your breasts would look like.”

Again, Maura takes the initiative, pulling her negligée over her head. It floats silkily to the floor. At least I think it floats. I can’t be sure as my eyes are riveted to her bare breasts. I’ve seen Maura in a bra more times than I can count. Figuring a bra doesn’t leave much to the imagination, I was sure I knew what they would look like. Once again I’m proven so very wrong. Her full breasts sit high on her chest, capped by hard, pink nipples that beg for attention.

“Continue,” she commands.

“I imagined what they would feel like.”

Maura bears a confidence that I’ve never witnessed before as she takes both my hands bring them up to her enviable bosom. I quickly learn that she has every right to be cocky. Sure, it could be the fact that I’ve never felt a woman’s naked breasts before, but I’m confident that Maura’s breasts must feel better than any other breasts on the planet.

The whimper that I’ve been trying to suppress makes it’s way to the surface. I’ve always had an issue with vocalizing my feelings in the past. Every new sensation with Maura, however, makes me want to sing out my pleasure.

“And then,” she prompts.

“I imagined how they would taste.”

Her smile is knowing and almost smug. “Time to live the fantasy, Detective.”

I need no further encouragement. Taking a rosy bud in my mouth, my eyes roll back in my head at the sensation. Maura must be enjoying it too, her hips slamming down against my own more fully.

The time for talk is now over. My fantasy has been shattered into a million tiny shards never to be pieced together again. The reality of making love to Maura is something I never could have imagined.

Moving from one beast to the other, I use my lips, tongue and teeth in the way I always wished my sexual partners would but never have. Maura is my compass, her moans telling me if I’m hot or cold. Soon she begins clawing at my back, silently demanding I remove my shirt. In short order it and my bra join her negligée on the floor.

Maura pulls my hair, her tongue filling my mouth. Our naked breasts touch for the first time causing us to whimper in stereo. Before long we’re a tangle or arms, legs, lips, and tongues. The rest is a blur. Maura is on me, inside of me, and I encounter bliss I’ve never known before.

All I know is that I will never be able to live without her.

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